Which one was Tim Roth? Not that it really matters, nor that it was Helena Bonham Carter playing Roddy McDowell. At least David Warner was tolerable for a change (I recognised his voice), but Charlton
Heston was, er, Charlton Heston and screw the plot. But enough about the plot (Tim Burton said), the apes are superlative. Of course Rick Baker was doing them quite convincingly back in 1968, so we're not seeing
anything revolutionary here [obvious joke omitted]. The costumes reminded me of The Phantom Menace (but in a good
way), which on reflection was probably subliminal because all the soldiers talked like James Earl Jones. As a movie devoid of characterisation, story and action it largely sucks. As a dark and ironic social
commentary, perhaps? Sucks. Intriguing time travel adventure? Sucks. An homage to the original? A couple of nods do not an homage make. Comedy? Well Jar Jar^H^H^H^H^H^H^H 'creepy orang-utan slave trader' was quite
amusing, and I had fun trying to spot where that Cindy Crawford woman kept her curling tongs... I didn't think the original was that good either, but at least it was new. I suppose that's a problem with remakes,
although changing fundamentals for no good reason (talking humans?) seems ill-considered. TIM BURTON: GET YOUR STINKING PAWS OFF IT YOU DAMNED DIRTY APE! ________________________ Readers might like to know that this
review was deemed 'spiteful' and hence 'unsuitable' for the fragile readership of amazon.com:
While we appreciate your opinion that the movie is not like the original, it is a new movie and comments like "but Charlton Heston was, er, Charlton Heston and screw the plot. But enough about the plot
(Tim Burton said), the apes are superlative." are not appropriate for our site.
Their loss. |
